Attachment and Divorce

Attachment and Divorce: FAMILY CONSEQUENCES Bowlby's, Ainsworth's, and Shaver's research created the understanding that infant styles create a disposition for later behavioral traits. More current research has questioned the significance of how the disruption of the attachment structure (such as in divorce) can affect children's behaviors throughout life. The research on this topic is contradictory and somewhat inconclusive, with research asserting that either attachment style or external environment has been the main contributor to the behaviors seen in members of divorced families, while many sources stated that it is likely to be a combination of both influences. With either explanation, research concludes that children of divorced families have a disposition to these behaviors, but the end development of behavior and personality is in the hands of the individual and the external factors that are present. Abstract The attachment theory that was developed by Harlow, Bowlby, and Ainsworth, which states that attachment is a key aspect to determining personality and behavior throughout an individual's lifetime. Attachment can be defined as the strong bond that develops first between parent and child, and later in peer and romantic relationships (Bowlby, 1969). Research on divorce and separation of attachment figures has yielded conflicting results. It is often reported that children of divorce have trouble adapting to different stages of their lives because of their experience with broken or detached attachment bonds. These children are said to have no accurate template for successful relationships to replicate in their lives. Other research provided results that children of divorce adapt to life's situations and relationships within normal ranges when compared to their peers (Armistead, Forehand, Summers, & Tannenbaum, 1998). Taking this into account, these researchers looked to peer relations, socioeconomic status, general distress, or poor parenting skills to explain the appearance of troublesome behavior or poor grades. The study of all aspects of divorce and attachment is important to how parents, psychologists, and teachers approach and understand children of divorced families in order to help them reach their full potential as adults. Overview of Attachment Theory The attachment theory has a basis in three theoretical approaches and was first related to primate and infant-mother studies. The three approaches include a psychoanalytic approach, the social learning approach, and the ethological theory of attachment (Ainsworth, 1969). Childhood attachment styles are clearly based on the emotional bond between the parent and child, as opposed to a biological push to become attached. A study on adopted children shows that positively formed attachments heighten the chance for a well-adjusted life, regardless of the biological relation of the attachment figure (Juffer, Stams & van IJzendoorn, 2002). â€Å"Even in a biologically unrelated group of parents and their adopted children from different cultures and ethnic backgrounds, early child-parent relationship characteristics played a significant role in shaping children's adjustment in middle childhood† (Juffer et al. 2002, p. 814). Harlow (1958) experimented with infant rhesus monkeys by removing them from their mothers and offering them a choice between two surrogate mothers, one made of terrycloth, the other of wire. In the first group, the terrycloth mother provided no food while the wire mother did, in the form of an attached baby bottle containing milk. I n the second group, the terrycloth mother provided food; the wire mother did not. The young monkeys clung to the terrycloth mother regardless it provided them with food, and that the other young monkeys chose the wire surrogate only when it provided food. The monkeys in the terrycloth study fared better in many aspects of their lives compared to others who were provided with only a wire mother, and were more likely to be adjusted physically, psychologically, and socially compared to the monkeys raised by the wire mother. Harlow concluded from his research that the primates are better off in their lives when given more comfort, attention, and grooming when compared to those who were deprived of these elements (Harlow). Harlow (1958) also noted that the infant monkeys formed a close bond, or attachment to their surrogate cloth mothers. These surrogate mothers were often used as a secure base when opportunities to venture and explore were presented. This was done in order to see how the infants adapted to the surroundings. These infants used their emotional bond to ensure that they would not be harmed when encountering new objects. Also, when a threatening stimulus was presented in this lab experiment, the monkeys retreated to the cloth mothers for safety. This correlates with Ainsworth's (1967) finding that infants in Uganda use their mothers as a secure base to explore, occasionally leaving their sights, but periodically returning to ensure themselves that they are still there. Bowlby (1969) also conducted research on attachment, recognizing the undeniable bond between infants and their primary care givers. In a variety of cultures that have been studied, the majority of children ranging in age from nine months to one year old have exhibited strong attachment behavior towards their primary care giver. This trend continued until three to four years of age, where the attachment weakened slightly. Hopefully at this point, the child is secure enough to briefly venture from the mother, and begin to develop other interactions and attachments (Bowlby). The notion that attachment extends throughout the life of an individual is noted in sections of Ainsworth’s and Bowlby's literature. Bowlby (1969) stated that over time, the attachment that infants have for their parents is subtly weakened. The degree to which it is weakened depends on the temperament of the child, which in turn determines how readily new attachment bonds are sought out and formed. Bowlby also researched the effect that temporary loss of the mother had on human infants, and his findings were expanded upon by the development of the Strange Situation Procedure developed by Ainsworth. Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall (1978) solidified Bowlby's research on infants and developed three main attachment styles. These styles are based on Ainsworth's (1978) studies of temporary loss of the main attachment figure within a controlled lab setting. This research was called the Strange Situation Procedure. The results showcased the distinct attachment characteristics for each style. Avoidant infants focus their attention mainly on toys that are found around the research room, not directly on the mother. The children appear to be independent and confidant, but there is intentional avoidance of the mother figure occurring. Once the mother is removed, these infants become detached and avoid the substitute caretaker. When returning, the infant continues to avoid the parent (Ainsworth et al. , 1978). Secure infants are genuinely social and explorative within the environment. They are friendly to the mother and caretaker, although can be wary of strangers. Secure infants show signs of anger and sadness when the mother is removed, but eventually adjust to the absence. These infants are generally excited upon the return of the mother (Ainsworth et al. , 1978). Lastly, the Anxious or Ambivalent pattern of behavior in infants shows signs of anxiety and hostility towards the parent. The Ambivalent infant is shows aggression toward the mother, but longs to be close to her at the same time. This behavior occurs both before and after the parent returns to the room (Ainsworth et al. , 1978). Hazan and Shaver (1987) continued this line of research and adapted the original attachment styles to patterns of attachment behavior in adult romantic relationships. The same three attachment styles remain true for adjustment and behavior in adult relationships (Hazan, & Shaver). The securely attached infants matured into adults that were more likely to experience balanced relationships of a desirable duration. The Avoidant infants grew up to have a few short relationships, if any at all. Ambivalent infants became adults who had frequent partners, but often to not allow themselves or their partner to establish the close bond that they would like to form. Separation From an Attachment Figure Spouse Marriage is a highly significant form of attachment bond that has negative consequences when broken. Bowlby realized and supported the notion that as we grow older, we form new attachments with multiple important figures throughout our lives (Bowlby, 1969). For infants, it is only natural to form attachments with the people who care for them most, in regards to their physiological and emotional needs. As people mature, the old attachments are only severed after great strain, and new attachments are made along the way. New attachments can be friends, co-workers or romantic interests (Bowlby, 1969). The effects of divorce on the adults who are engulfed in the situation tend to be as stressful as those found in the children. Weiss' (1976) work showed that the reaction of couples after divorce is similar to the core set of reactions of other examples where attachment is broken, including the reactions of children. Kobak (1999) refered to the Weiss study and stateed that the availability of an attachment figure in relationships is important to the strength of the bond. When this availability is broken, much like an enhanced Strange Situation Procedure for adults, the security of one spouse or the other is threatened. Berman (1988) noticed from his study of divorced couples, that there is often a strong sense of longing for the estranged partner, and a mourning of the loss is experienced. He also noted that there is a seemingly illogical mix of anger, resentment, and lingering positive feelings for the estranged spouse. Weiss (1976) explained this by stating; This persisting bond to the spouse resembles the attachment bond of children to parents described by Bowlby. Indeed it seems reasonable to surmise that the bond we observe to persist in unhappy marriages is an adult development of childhood attachment (p. 138). Although the distress caused by divorce is great for both partners, it is easier to see how adults cope with the broken attachment because of their life experiences, maturity, and alternate sources of support. In contrast, children rely mainly on few attachment figures and often lack the coping skills that adults have refined. Children Children usually lose a degree of contact with one of their very few attachment figures when a divorce occurs. It is a confusing and stressful time for children, regardless of whether the divorce was amicable or not. Booth, Clarke-Stewart, McCartney, Owen, & Vandell (2000) refer to various national studies when they stated that poor school performance, low self-esteem, behavior problems, distress, and adjustment difficulties are associated with divorce. In adolescents from divorced families they noted more instances of delinquent behavior, early sex activity, and continued academic issues. In contrast, there have also been comparable studies that detect no unusual behavior or emotional distress occurring from divorce (Armistead et al. , 1998). For example, one study involved extensive questionnaires and concluded that the average scores attained from the children were within normal ranges when compared to children of intact families (Armistead et al. ). There are many factors that may play into how children's attachments are altered after a divorce, gender and age being the two most documented variables. Children's adjustment and the factor of age. The behavioral reaction of a child to divorce has been shown to correlate with the age group when the divorce or separation occurs. In a controversial study of divorced families, Blakeslee & Wallerstein (1989) stated that most children have the same initial feelings. â€Å"When their family breaks up, children feel vulnerable, for they fear that their lifeline is in danger of being cut† (p. 12). They then went on to discuss the age differences and how the stage at which divorce occurs can impact what behaviors may take place. Blakeslee and Wallerstein (1989) observed, Little children often have difficulty falling asleep at bedtime or sleeping through the night. Older children may have trouble concentrating at school. Adolescents often act out and get into trouble. Men and women may become depressed or frenetic. Some throw themselves into sexual affairs or immerse themselves in work (p. xii). Booth et al. (2000) conducted wide sampling research and realized that the worst initial reactions and behaviors that occur close to the date of the divorce were by the youngest children. In a follow-up study 10 years after the divorce, however, the youngest children were adjusting to their new environments and interactions better than siblings who were older at the time of the divorce. Children's adjustment and the factor of sex. Gender difference between children in a divorce plays a very important role in how they adjust. This is true during the time of the divorce and has lasting effects in adult life. Multiple studies have agreed that boys and girls react differently to the reduced contact with a major attachment figure. Boys seem to have an especially difficult time with divorce, causing them to have trouble at school, withdraw from social interactions, or start fights with peers (Blakeslee & Wallerstein, 1989). However, Amato (2001) wrote a follow up study to his earlier meta-analysis findings. In this earlier study, behavior traits were ranked in children with divorced parents and observed negative behaviors. The current study emphasizes that differences are not unique to either boys or girls. Amato and Keith (1991) found that the deficit in social adjustment associated with marital disruption was greater for boys than for girls. In the 1990s, divorce was associated with greater conduct problems among boys than girls. But the more general conclusion–in the earlier meta-analysis as well as in the present one–is that most of the disadvantages associated with divorce are similar for boys and girls. These findings imply that the stress on the children is equal, although they may show it in differing ways. Amato's (2001) follow up study also went to great lengths to show that current trends in gender differences are not as severe as they were once thought to be. Children of Divorce: Outcomes Short-term outcomes for children from divorced families seem to be troubled, but the outcome becomes increasingly optimistic as the children age and mature (Blakeslee & Wallerstein, 1989). The individuals who were interviewed by Wallerstein (1989) showed a strong desire to fix what their parents could not within their own adult lives. They wanted to have stable families and relationships, although many viewed this dream as idealistic, not realistic. â€Å"They fear betrayal. They fear abandonment. They fear loss. They draw an inescapable conclusion: Relationships have a high likelihood of being untrustworthy; betrayal and infidelity are probable† (Blakeslee & Wallerstein, p. 55). Regardless of the long term effects on these particular interviewees, Amato and Keith (1991) concluded after their own assessment that children of highly conflicted families who are not divorced fare worse over time than children with divorced parents. This shows that distance from an attachment figure may be better than living in a troubled environment. Blakeslee and Wallerstein (1989) observed through their years of interviews with children of divorce an occurrence known as the Sleeper Effect. It is defined as, â€Å"a delayed reaction to an event that happened many years earlier† (Blakeslee & Wallerstein, p. 60). The Sleeper Effect is seen mostly in young women whose parents divorced while they were young children. As previously noted, boys are more likely to act out during the time of divorce, showing their aggression and anger at the situation (Amato and Keith, 1991). Girls on the other hand, seem to keep this frustration inside. This pent up emotion is theorized to show its effects later in the lives of these girls (Blakeslee & Wallerstein). Its effects are described as, â€Å"particularly dangerous because it occurs at the crucial time when many young women make decisions that have long-term implications for their lives. Suddenly overcome by fears and anxieties, they begin to make connections between these feelings and their parents' divorce† (Blakeslee & Wallerstein, p. 61). Most attachment and divorce literature claims attachment is an integral part of the outcomes seen in children from divorced families. However, many of these sources also mention the presence of secondary factors such as income, mother's employment status, or peer relationships. These factors can also play a key role in determining how a child deals with divorce. For example, Booth et al, (2000) summarized their results and said that during the early stages of life, it is perhaps most important that the available parent has good parenting skills. This, they say, is more important to the outcome of the child than the family structure, meaning that parenting practices have a greater effect on children than marital status. They mention that lack of education, depression, low income, and inadequate support from the mother leads to poor adjustment and behavior in young children. Many of these factors can be brought on by a divorce, such as lack of support or attention for children, depression, and economic status. The fading stigma of divorce is another universal factor that has been observed to change the well being of these children. Contrary to the past, divorce is not viewed as a degrading occurrence, which once brought social exclusion, shame, and the feeling of failure to family members. Similarly, the current volume has increased, and current divorces are not preceded by as much violence and anger as in the past (Amato, 2001). Conclusion The somewhat contrasting views provide a solid, yet inconclusive basis for our understanding of how divorce affects families. Different views have been discussed, including the attachment theory and the effects of family environments. The research has uncovered a wealth of knowledge about how adults and children deal with loss and feelings of abandonment and insecurity. There were many common reactions to divorce that have been observed over these situations, including sadness, anger, insecurity, and lack of trust, which can lead to depression, conduct issues, or unrealistic relationship views. Regardless of these common findings, many children of divorce eventually learn to accept the past and look toward their futures. There are still many avenues that can be taken in the research techniques and literature surrounding divorce and children, but the detrimental findings of the 1970's seem to have faded, along with (and possibly because of) the social stigmas that have been linked to divorce. References Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1967). Infancy in Uganda: Infant care and the growth of attachment. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press. Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1969). Object relations, attachment and dependency. Child Development, 40, 969-1025. Ainsworth, M. D. S. , Blehar, M. C. , Waters, E. , & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum. Amato, P. R. (2001). Children of divorce in the 1990s: An update of the Amato and Keith (1991) meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 15, 355-370. Amato, P. R. , & Keith, B. (1991). Parental divorce and adult well-being: A meta-analysis. Journal of Marriage & the Family, 53, 43-58. Armistead, L. , Forehand, R. , Summers, P. , & Tannenbaum, L. (1998). Parental divorce during early adolescence in Caucasian families: The role of family process variables in predicting the long-term consequences for early adult psychosocial adjustment. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 66, 327-336. Berman, W. H. (1988). The role of attachment in the post-divorce experience. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 496-503. Blakeslee, S. , & Wallerstein, J. S. (1989). Second chances: Men, women and children a decade after divorce. New York: Ticknor & Fields. Booth, C. , Clarke-Stewart, K. A. , McCartney, K. , Owen, M. T. , & Vandell, D. L. (2000). Effects of parental separation and divorce on very young children. Journal of Family Psychology, 14, 304-326. Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Attachment (Vol. 1). New York: Basic. Harlow, H. F. (1958). The nature of love. American Psychologist, 13, 573-585. Hazan, C. , & Shaver, P. R. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524. Juffer, F. , Stams, G. J. J. M. , & van Ijzendoorn, M. H. (2002). Maternal sensitivity, infant attachment, and temperament in early childhood predict adjustment in middle childhood: The case of adopted children and their biologically unrelated parents. Developmental Psychology, 38, 806-821. Kobak, R. (1999). The emotional dynamics of disruptions in attachment relationships. In J. Cassidy & P. R. Shaver (Eds. , Handbook of attachment (pp. 21-43). New York: Guilford. Nakonezny, P. A. , Shull, R. D. , & Rodgers, J. L. (1995). Divorce rate across the 50 states and its relation to income, education, and religiosity. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 57, 477-488. Waite, L. J. , & Gallagher, M. (2000). The case for marriage. New York: Doubleday. Warner, R. L. , & Seccombe, K. (2003). Marriage and families: Relationships in social context. To ronto, Canada: Wadsworth. Weiss, R. S. (1976). The emotional impact of marital separation. Journal of Social Issues, 32, 135-145.